Why Being Too Independent Isn’t A Good Thing

Hyper-independence deprives us of life’s vibrant tapestry.

Thought Catalog



By Karin Hadadan

Independence is a remarkable quality that empowers us to navigate life’s labyrinth on our own terms. But what happens when this self-reliance turns into hyper-independence, casting shadows on our path to building meaningful connections, nurturing emotional and mental well-being, and unlocking our full potential? This phenomenon is an intricate dance, especially for single souls or those entwined in long-term relationships, where leaning on a partner for support feels like a distant constellation.

Lonely Echoes of Hyper-Independence

In our relentless quest for self-sufficiency, we often find ourselves entangled in the web of hyper-independence, a silent struggle that leaves us grappling with solitude and emotional turmoil. The self-imposed bubble of extreme self-reliance can amplify our pre-existing mental health struggles, fostering a garden of anxiety and loneliness. There are moments where we enjoy these quiet periods alone, but other times, it forces us toward coping mechanisms that bear more pain than healing. It’s a lonely road, one that inadvertently leads to isolation.

A Life Unexplored

Hyper-independence deprives us of life’s vibrant tapestry. It’s like missing out on a symphony of human connection, intimate conversations, and the rapid feedback loop that a simple conversation provides. Our personal growth is stunted, as we shy away from learning about the world, others, and the enigmatic facets of our own selves. When we cling to our independence, we become voyagers on a solitary ship, ignoring the connected nature of self-discovery.

Love and Freedom in Conflict

For those engaged in long-term relationships, the perpetual craving for freedom can negatively affect the very bond they treasure. Prioritizing personal autonomy above all else creates emotional chasms, and your partner, the one you hold dear, may feel like a distant star. This can be particularly challenging when dreams of building a family and a shared life meet the headwinds of craving independence.



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