When To Tell Your Boyfriend You Have Anxiety
By Fortesa Latifi
Everyone brings baggage to a relationship but in the beginning, most of us shove it in the overhead compartment and focus on the cute guy across the table and his stupid puns. You go on a first date and drink a vodka and soda and talk about your jobs. You go on a second date and eat sushi and talk about whatever’s trending on Twitter. You go on a third date and a fourth date and meet his friends. So when do you tell him you have clinical anxiety?
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to. Your mental health is your business and your business only. Here’s the other thing: if someone’s becoming important in your life, they need to know you. Knowing you means knowing all of you, even the messy, anxious parts.
Dean* was the first person I dated after being diagnosed with anxiety. I started seeing him a year after I started seeing a therapist. Admitting to myself that I had anxiety and needed to seek professional help was its own years-long struggle. I swallowed it year after year and shoved my shaking hands in my back pocket. After I got treatment, things started to slowly get easier. I knew I would have anxiety for the rest of my life, but now I also knew that I could deal with it and still lead a beautiful, full life. Things would be okay.
