The Second Time You Get Your Heart Broken
By Heidi Priebe
The second time you get your heart broken, you’re going to be annoyed.
You already went through your first heartbreak: You know, that horrible stretch of time where you thought that things would never be okay again. You already relished in the depths of self-pity and engaged in the obligatory six-month period of crying over Adele songs in the shower. Your first heartbreak knocked the wind out of you, but then a miracle happened — you recovered! You came out the other side! You picked yourself up off the ground and with time, you even learned to love again.
Now you know that there’s another side to all of it. You are convinced that you shouldn’t have to go through all that shitty heartbreak stuff again.
“Screw those unproductive months of guzzling wine and cradling old pictures!” you’ll announce. “I get to bypass all of that because I’m older and wiser now.”
You’re going to jump into things with lightening speed after your second heartbreak. You’ll make an OKCupid account and go on three dates every day for a week. You’re going to re-decorate your apartment with vehemence. You’re going to call up your girlfriends and tell them how much you love being single. You are taking advantage of your newfound independence. You are out there and you’re loving it.
The second time you get your heart broken, you will not succumb to old vices. “Sorry heart,” you’ll scoff. “I’m responsible and I have a job to go to. No staying up until 3am listening to Taylor Swift songs for you!”
The second time around, your emotional immune system will protect you with vigor. You will fear nothing more than becoming the mess you once were. You will fight passionately to keep yourself together, only to eventually realize that not all forms of unraveling are blatant.
You see, the second time you get your heart broken, it’s going to hurt. It will hurt in a completely and utterly different way than it hurt the first time, but it’s going to be pain all the same. It is a subtler pain. A refined pain. It’s almost as if heartbreak grew up right alongside you…