Read This If You Feel Like It’s Taking You Too Long To Move On

Because growth and letting go are so complexly intertwined that we often only see one or the other.

Filipp Romanovski

By Heidi Priebe

Everybody seems to have a different rule about how long it should take you to get over something. If it’s a relationship, they tell you half the length of it. If it’s a loss they tell you approximately a year — long enough to go through each special occasion when you’re used to having them by your side. We use language like ‘moving on’ and ‘letting go’ as though they’re actions as simple as shutting a door and physically walking away. We uncurl our fingers and drop whatever we are holding — that’s letting go, right? That’s all it takes?

I don’t think I’ve experienced a single loss in my life that I’ve gotten over in the time frame that seems to have been allotted by society as ‘acceptable.’ And I suspect that I’m not alone there. It is not human nature to let go. We are, at our core, territorial creatures. We fight to hold onto what we love. Giving up isn’t in any way instinctual.

If there’s anything I wish we could talk more about it’s the in-between stages of letting someone go. Because nobody lets go in an instant. You let go once. And then you let go again. And then again and…