‘I Am A Survivor,’ And Other Empowering Reminders For Those Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
When you’re in the midst of an abusive relationship, so often it’s difficult to find your footing, to hear the sound of your own voice, to simply make it through another day without self-destructive behaviors, depression, loneliness, or confusion. Sometimes you cannot see that you’re actually not the perpetrator in the relationship — because your abuser lies or manipulates you, or because they turn the blame to you, saying you’re the one with the destructive behaviors.
Regardless of whether you’re in the midst of an abusive relationship, struggling to find your way out, or searching for healing in the wake of one — here are empowering reminders to repeat to yourself and give yourself strength, reassurance, support, and love.
I am strong.
This is the first thing you need to remind yourself of each day, and the last words you repeat in your head before you fall asleep. Even if you’re still struggling to get out of a relationship with an abuser, remind yourself that every day you wake up, you are strong. Every moment you build yourself up with positivity rather than negativity, you are strong. Every day you choose to push forward, to try to find a way out, to seek healing instead of giving up, you are strong.
No matter where you are, or how long you’ve been broken, you are strong. And you will get through this.
I am worthy of real love.
The pain you have endured is not going to be easy to walk away from. You won’t be able to simply brush it off, or pretend it doesn’t exist. The healing process will be long and difficult, but you are worth it. And you are worthy of love.
So don’t sell yourself short. Don’t tell yourself because of what you’ve gone through, no one will love you again — because that’s not true. Don’t be convinced that you are not important, or special, or valued. Because the right person will see all the beauty in you, regardless of the brokenness. Someone will see you and not think you are weak; they will be inspired by your strength.
I am not my past.
You are not what has happened to you or where you’ve been. You are not defined by the pain in your chest, or the words and actions that someone has said or done. Only you can define your worth; choose to fight back every single day.
I am not what my abuser has tried to tell me I am.
Abuse can sit deep in your heart over time, but with healing, therapy, love, and self-love, you can, and will, begin to redefine yourself. Do not let the words that slip from a narcissist’s lips make you feel as if you are less. You are not what they say. Repeat this. You are not what they say.
I will not be destroyed.
You may be broken, bruised, shattered, or exhausted. You may have moemnts where you just want to give up. You may have lost your way, or your fight, but you will not be destroyed.
I am not afraid to continue forward.
The only thing you can control is where you head next. Take steps in a healthy direction. Take steps away from your abuser. Take steps into healing. Take steps to finding yourself and your lust for life again.
And when you get scared, when you slip, when your abuser’s words feel so prominent in your mind, tell yourself that you are strong enough to continue forward. Because you are.
I can, and will, love again.
You can find love. You will find love. There is someone out there who will see you, and desire to be with you — past and all. Hold out for them.
I am loved.
Abuse is not love. Remind yourself of the people who really do love you — friends, family, coworkers, etc. — and teach yourself, through your relationships with them, what true love really is.
I will heal.
In time, with care, with gentleness, with strength, with persistence, with faith, with self-love, you will heal. And you will heal beautifully.
I am a survivor.
You can, and will overcome.
Marisa Donnelly is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.