How To Fall Half In Love With Someone

Thought Catalog
3 min readMay 22, 2020

To fall half in love with someone, be alone.

Be alone for so long that you forget how to properly fall; that you forget anything but sideways glances and chance encounters and whomever you’re standing closest to when the bar lights come on at the end of the night.

To fall half in love, lose faith in people. Decide that everyone leaves and everyone screws up and that you are more than included in that pool. Tell yourself that there was a time and a place for love but it was long, long and not here. Decide that for a long time, half-hearted replications are all that you’re going to get. Decide that nothing’s going to feel like it once did and let that be okay. Let yourself accept that as a cold, inevitable truth.

To fall half in love, make a mistake. Linger one moment too long at a bar or café. Invite the wrong person into your bed. Listen too intently to somebody’s story and fail to realize that we can fall in love entirely accidentally. Fail to realize the moment in which the chain-link barrier around your heart lowers and lets something in, because it has been up for so long that you forgot it was not entirely indestructible. For a long time, fail to realize that you can feel anything at all.

To fall half in love with someone, recognize it too late.

Realize in an offhanded moment that the lilt of their laugh makes you breathless, that the taste of their lips drives you mad. Find yourself transfixed with the movement of their hands as they’re brewing a simple cup of coffee and realize that something has shifted deep inside of you; something it’s too late to put back.

To fall half in love with someone, jump ship. Realize that you’re not ready for full love, for real love, for the kind of love that nurtures and catches and heals. Realize that you’ve been alone for so damn long because you have a world of your own making and you like it there. That the touch of someone’s hand shouldn’t make you weak, that the sound of their voice shouldn’t haunt you. To fall half in love, leave before you have the chance to fall fully, because you aren’t ready to let that overtake you. You aren’t prepared to wander through that wasteland again.

To fall half in love with someone, move on. Go confidently forward in the direction…

Thought Catalog

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