‘Hating People’ Doesn’t Make You An Introvert — It Just Makes You A Person Who Hates People
It’s easy to misidentify our personality types.
We do so all the time — from taking inaccurate online tests, to consuming online articles that portray false information about what it means to be an introvert, extrovert, feeler, thinker, etc… there are plenty of clouding factors that get in the way.
But one of the most frustrating arguments I hear people using to defend their concept of themselves as an introvert is, ‘I know I’m an introvert because I hate people.’
Which is where I need all of us to hold on for a hot second and take a step back.
Hating people is not an inherent quality of introversion. Conversely, liking people is not an inherent quality of extroversion.
Allow me to elaborate with a metaphor.
I very much enjoy weight-training. In fact, weight-training is one of my favorite things in the world.
I like the feeling of curling my hands around a weighted bar. I love the strength that resounds through my muscles when I bench-press something that seemed impossible to press two months before. I like the relaxation of stretching out after a good session.
But I can also only weight-train for about an hour and a half at a time. Because weight-training is tiring.
Because if I worked out for longer than that I’d be damaging my body. Because as much as I absolutely love weight-training, it depletes my energy and takes a (temporary) toll on my muscles.
But I can be tired out by it — and need to limit the amount of time I spend on it — while still loving it.You see what I’m getting at here?
My two best friends in the world are introverts (an INFP and an INFJ, to be specific) and both of them need a lot of alone time to recharge. Both of them are easily over-stimulated. Both of them prefer deep analysis (in the areas of emotion and intuition respectively) to the wide exploration of different ideas. But both of them are still incredibly loving people, who think the world of the people in their lives.
The same way I grow tired with exercise, my INFx friends grow tired from jumping from one social…