Do Not Waste My Time If You Are Looking For Something Temporary
By Holly Riordan
I am on the lookout for everlasting love. For a concrete relationship. For the one who will transform home from a place into a person.
Casual relationships are not on my radar. If you invite me over for a drink, do not expect me to accept the invitation layered beneath. Do not expect me to trail you to your bedroom ten minutes into a movie neither of us are paying attention to in place of having a meaningful first date conversation with you about the complexities of our overlapping universes.
I would never blame you for wanting something casual. There are plenty of others with matched expectations, who would love the opportunity to enjoy a no-strings-attached night with you and spontaneously see where it goes afterward. Those hearts are the ones you should be forming connections with. They are the ones you should be pursuing because you could mutually benefit each other. But if you only want me for a temporary stay, there is no benefit for me. There is only disappointment.
I am not the one to fill the empty side of your bed for a night. Once I crawl beneath the covers, I make a home there.
I do not understand the definition of temporary. I cling to neighboring souls. Like a leach, I cannot be shaken off with sheer force.
For both of our sanities, do not waste my time if you are looking for something short-term. Do not string me along for your own entertainment. Do not knock down my walls when our expectations are misaligned.
I do not want to grow attached to someone who has an exit plan ready. I do not want to daydream about a future that is never going to exist. I do not want my energy zapped by someone who does not appreciate the attention.
My heart is not something you can loan as long as you would like and return once you are finished with your fun. It is not a toy you can borrow from my chest.
I am hoping to find a love with potential. A love that lasts as long as a star system.
I am ready for cozy nights on the couch, coffees at our dining table, egg breakfasts with ketchup smiley faces on the side. I am aware of how many twenty-somethings want the opposite of the items on my bullet list, but I believe there is someone out there who sees eye-to-eye. Someone who agrees with my homebody fantasies.
I do not want anything casual, questionable, or one-sided. I do not want to suffer from midnight wonders about whether I am worthy of your love. I want a stable relationship founded on trust, honesty, and reliability. I want a tranquil love. A reassuring love. A lifetime love.
Please, do not waste my time if you are looking for something temporary. I am not someone you can have sometimes. You can either hand me your heart for keeps or you can keep on walking.
Holly Riordan is a writer and author from Long Island, New York.