A 20-Something’s 16-Step Guide To Coming Out As Gay

Thought Catalog
4 min readJun 18, 2020
Polina Tankilevitch

1. Exist. Be born. Do normal baby things. Cry a lot. Play with your toys. Start to learn how to talk. Gasp out some baby words and toddler phrases. Learn to walk, learn to play, learn to laugh, learn to tease your little sister.

2. Get older. Go to school, make friends, make enemies, make inappropriate jokes and ugly drawings your parents hang on the wall. Have a moment you realize that you’re different. It might be a fleeting moment, something where you feel apart from everyone else. You might hang out mostly with the opposite gender, you might defy gender norms, you might just feel out of place. Ignore it. Keep going on with your life. Try to understand American history and length times width. Fall asleep during free reading time.

3. Experience puberty, it’s weird. Your body takes over your life and makes all kinds of changes you aren’t really down with. It’s like your parents only somehow worse and a lot more intimate. Fight against tons of annoying body hair, start to smell like ass when you don’t wear deodorant, start feeling attracted toward the opposite sex.

Or not.

4. Keep growing. Keep waiting for that day that fabled teenage sex-drive kicks in for you and you find the opposite sex irresistible. Keep waiting.

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