8 Red Flag Text Messages Narcissists Send You — Translated By An Expert
By Shahida Arabi
“I am super busy / I don’t have time for this.”
When the narcissist first love-bombs you, they seem to have all the time in the world to communicate with you. They respond to your every message within minutes, seem anxious when you take a break from communicating with them, and answer your questions with lengthy, heartfelt replies. Not only do they appear to actively drop anything they’re doing to respond to you, they seem to carve out large amounts of time to cater to you and get to know you. After they’ve “hooked” you, however, their communication patterns shift abruptly in ways that give you emotional whiplash. They suddenly view your simple attempts to communicate with them as a hindrance, burden, and inconvenience. This is different from actually being busy, as even the busiest person in the world knows how to communicate their time restrictions with grace and respect. Even overscheduled doctors and presidents of countries find the time to text their wives, and if they’re empathic, they certainly don’t lash out at their partners for asking for an explanation after a prolonged absence. The narcissist, on the other hand, lashes out with a fury and frustration that shocks their victims with its cruelty during the devaluation phase of the relationship when they are asked why they are behaving so unusually. They will accuse you of being clingy and gaslight you into believing you are in the wrong for becoming accustomed to the level of responsiveness they set up for you to expect in the first place. They insult you for asking for basic respect. If anything, they were the ones who were “needy” when they were love bombing you and ardently pressuring you to reply to them. They trained and conditioned you to always expect a timely response and now punish and degrade you for reacting to their deliberate withdrawal and withholding of their time.
“Good morning beautiful/handsome.”
This is a common love bombing phrase narcissists use early on to groom you in the relationship. They will send this or a variation of this text (perhaps with a personalized nickname or other compliment)…