7 Fears People Have About Committing And Why The Right Person Will Make Them Disappear

Thought Catalog
4 min readApr 10, 2022
Jonathan Borba

By Nicole Tarkoff

1. Being left by someone you love.

You’re scared to commit because you think everyone will eventually leave you, but what you need to realize is that the right person chooses to stay. The right person won’t wander when life becomes difficult, the right person will ask what they can do to make it easier. The right person makes you feel loved. They make you feel certain. They erase your fear of being left because they continue to prove that they will not only stay, but that they want to.

2. Uncertainty that they are right for you.

It’s nearly impossible to know whether or not you’re with the right person, but when it feels wrong, you’ll know. Sometimes there’s more than one person that is right for us, and sometimes we have to meet all the wrong people before finding them. Being uncertain about someone else is a reflection of the uncertainty you have within yourself. They say you need to love yourself before you can love someone else, but the same goes for trust. Trust yourself. Trust that you are smart enough to leave someone who doesn’t show you the love that you deserve. It’s okay to question. It’s okay to be uncertain, but if you push everyone away, you’re not only pushing away those who are completely wrong for you, you’re pushing away everyone who’s right.

3. Loss of independence.

When you commit to someone else, it’s important to make the time to commit to yourself as well. You shouldn’t have to compromise your independence to be with someone. A relationship involves two people. You are a couple, but you’re not one item. You’re not two halves that make one whole, you are two separate beings. You both have different passions, different hopes and dreams, and it is love that allows you to share them with one another. It is possible to share your life without giving up half of it.

4. Overwhelming feelings.

It’s easy to care about family and friends more than ourselves, but when it comes to a relationship fear sets in deep. It’s scary to care about someone so deeply that you question what you’d do…

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