6 Things Not To Do When You Get Ghosted

Dwell on what might have happened.

Thought Catalog
2 min readMay 21


Bruno Silva

By Molly Burford

Here are six things not to do when you get ghosted.

1. Test the waters by interacting on social media.

DO NOT like their Instagram posts, respond to their Instagram Stories, send them TikToks, or Snap them to see if they open it. You’re better than that! The best thing you can if someone has ghosted you is delete them off your socials altogether to rid yourself of the temptation to check their last active status (don’t lie, we all do it) and start the healing process.

If you truly aren’t ready to remove them from your following lists, that’s okay. You can still mute them to prevent yourself from seeing them post their latest Spotify find on their Instagram Story. The song isn’t good anyway, save yourself the pain of seeing their name and mute their account. You’ll be better off, trust me.

2. Tell yourself you’re imagining it.

Because you’re not. If you think someone is ghosting you, there is usually a reason for this belief and that reason is usually that they are ghosting you. Face the radio silence and take it at face value: if someone isn’t replying to your texts and it’s been a week or more, you’ve been ghosted.

3. Blame yourself.

Stop blaming yourself. Unless you’re actually psychotic, their ghosting you has everything to do with them and their ability (or lack thereof) to communicate maturely. And besides, is that someone you really want to be with? Someone who treats people as a convenience and disposable? I think not.

4. Pretend you’re okay with it.

You do not have to pretend to be okay with being ghosted. Being ghosted is painful. You got rejected. It doesn’t make you weak to be hurt by this. Stop acting like you don’t give a shit and feel what you actually do. This is the healthiest thing you can do to start letting go.

5. Think you need closure to move on.

Yes, you deserved a reason for them ending the relationship or situationship. This doesn’t mean you’ll get those answers from them, and the fact they are ghosting you means that they most likely will never let you know “what happened.” That’s okay, though. You don’t need their closure to move forward anyway.

6. Dwell on what might have happened.

The first few weeks after being ghosted are the hardest. This makes sense. You’re still getting used to someone who used to be a major part of your day no longer being part of your life. Let yourself feel what you need to but do not dwell on where “things went wrong.” Because, in the end, it honestly doesn’t matter. The fact is they ghosted you is really the biggest piece of information you need.



Thought Catalog

We’re a community of creators based in NYC. We publish a digital magazine and limited edition books. thoughtcatalog.com // shopcatalog.com

Recommended from Medium


See more recommendations