3 Concrete Signs You’re Being ‘Ghostlighted’

Don’t fall for it. Your feelings are valid and what you felt was real.

Thought Catalog
2 min readSep 21, 2023
Victoria Emerson

By Molly Burford

“Ghostlighting” is a toxic new dating trend that is a fusion of ghosting and gaslighting. Nice!

Essentially, someone who ghostlights you will ghost you and then come back around later on as if nothing happened. However, when you confront them about their bad behavior, they will deny ever walking away.

Ghostlighting can cause serious self-esteem and trust issues. If you’re being ghostlighted, you may doubt your own reality about the situation and stay in a bad relationship longer than you should.

To give you some clarity, here are three concrete signs you’re being ghostlighted.

1. There was a period of abrupt absence after intense connection.

The first sign you’re being ghostlighted is that there was an initial ghosting. This ghosting happens after things were seemingly going extremely well, making their absence all that more jarring, confusing, and hurtful.

The ghostlighter in question seemed totally invested in you and your relationship. They were super present and affectionate. And then suddenly, they cut all…



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