17 Mistakes Single People Make When Looking For A Relationship

Thought Catalog
5 min readJul 2, 2022
Min An

By Chelsea Fagan

1. Giving up on online dating after just one negative experience. Here’s the thing with online dating: It’s much like wading through some kind of swamp near a nuclear plant, pushing aside the glowing kelp and the three-eyed fish, looking to find that treasure chest from a sunken pirate ship. You have to go through some moderate-to-serious digging before you find your gold doubloons, and giving up at the first sign of inconvenience is the only way to ensure it won’t work out.

2. Allowing your friends to set you up with people that you know you’re not at all interested in, but you don’t say no to because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. At a certain point, it just becomes a game of “You’re single??? I know a person who is also not currently in a relationship — you would be perfect for each other!”

3. Going back to an ex just to get the cuddles. Don’t let slip back into the quicksand of the easy cuddle.

4. Trying to construct a functional relationship out of someone who is clearly just looking for a little casual sex. Pretending like the times you meet up at 11 PM to have sex are “dates” and that they’re just “really busy with other things” is a one-way ticket to emotional eating while crying in your bed.

5. Focusing in way too hard on the “meet cute” aspect of finding someone, wherein you just happen to bump into one another at some bookstore while browsing the same section and get all charmingly befuddled trying to say excuse me. This also leads to trying to turn every brief moment of eye contact with a hot person on public transportation into the opening sequence of the movie that is your love life. (Full disclosure: I once stayed on the train to follow a guy I thought I was having A Moment with for about five stops too long, only for him to get off and completely walk in the other direction. Those are five stops I will never get back.)

6. Introducing them to your friends way too quickly — as in, before it’s even a real relationship — because you’re way too excited.

7. Sleeping with members of your friend group in the interim, because you’re horny, but you also want to be with someone that you can just chill out and order a pizza with…

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