12 Reasons Why Independent Women Have A Harder Time Falling In Love

Thought Catalog
4 min readFeb 14, 2020
Neemias Seara

1. She can forget to let people be there for her.

Sh’es the first to say things like, “It’s fine,” or, “Don’t worry about it.” It’s because she is a natural problem solver, and it doesn’t occur to her to ask for someone’s opinion or thoughts before diving right in. When falling in love, you need to be able to open up and be vulnerable. And in order to be vulnerable? She has to let people in.

2. She’d rather just doing something herself, rather than ask for help.

When you’re independent, or a girl who is used to being on her own, it can be difficult to remember that you don’t have to march through life by yourself 100% of the time. Because she’s independent, she’s naturally inclined to just handle problems without even telling anyone that there WAS a problem in the first place. She needs to remember to let other people step in, to let them help. Because a relationship is just that: two people. And not allowing them to be there will only keep her alone even longer.

3. She can be nit-picky.

Perfectionist, anal retentive, “type A.” Basically, she is used to (and prefers) being able to execute things exactly the way she envisions them. Are her standards high? Yep. Is she going to lower them? Likely not. Rather than expecting her to lower her standards, she needs to learn to adapt. Only then will she be able to let down her walls and truly fall in love.

4. She knows exactly who she is.

So many people out there look at falling in love and being in a relationship as the thing that completes them. The thing that takes them from 75 to a full 100% person. She’s not like that at all. She is a full, complete, happy person with or without someone to text good morning to when she wakes up. Falling in love is probably not even on her radar, which makes it ultimately more surprising and difficult for it to happen.

5. She can be stubborn to an actual fault.

She has operated on her own for so long and so efficiently and effectively that she doesn’t typically want to listen or bend when confronted with things she disagrees with. In her mind it’s her life, and she knows best. She can admittedly be difficult, and not many people…

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